I've gone over the scenario in my head a hundred times since we found out we were expecting. All of them were just sweet moments where McKinlee just lovingly accepts our new addition and isn't jealous at all and we're one big happy family of four. However, the closer we get {and by closer I mean we put his crib up so I want him here tomorrow} the more nervous I am getting. Can I show them both enough attention? Will she still be a mommy's girl or will she want Justin more? I was asking my best friend, who is a recent mom of two, "what's the top three things you'd register for now that you have two kids?" She replied, "I can't really think of anything someone can buy you. The best thing is someone helping you {clean, dinner, laundry} or someone to "spoil" McKinlee. You will for sure have to find out how to split your time, that's the hardest part." I'm so thankful she's so honest with me, because I feel like everyone just shrugs it off, and it really is very hard to find that balance when caring {and worrying} for a newborn. 

Knowing that I will be more preoccupied in the near future, I find myself watching McKinlee's cute little mannerisms, the way she'll literally open an applesauce pouch by herself now or as tired as I am, I'll lay in that tiny twin sized bed and read Goodnight, Gorilla a hundred times until I literally can't keep my eyes open. When we put her to bed after we've let her stay up way too late because we miss her so much during the day, and she's so sad and she'll say "one more hug and one more kiss" a dozen times, and we'll give in a dozen times because she's almost three. THREE. I just want her to stay at this fun age forever - minus the horrid temper tantrums because she can't snack on jelly beans and Hershey's kisses for every meal.

We are so excited to have a baby boy and grow our family, but she is our baby. I don't ever want her to think we did things better with Carter than we did with her, because she was our first. She taught us how to be parents. She taught us what true, unconditional love really is. She is the epitome of perfection to us. Even her sassy side is more sweet than other three year old attitudes, to us, she hung the moon. I have no idea how my heart is going to grow to love another baby, but all the books say "it just will." I am looking forward to seeing how she adjusts to having a brother, because right now she loves the idea, she'll rock her babies in his swing and she kisses him {only on my belly button} and she'll feed him pretend food {through my belly button} when she is playing chef. The way she says "Carter Paul" is also the sweetest thing ever. She loves dressing her babies in his onesies, and I just can't wait until it really is him that she's holding and playing with. She's going to be the best big sister.

As long as she doesn't react like Lily from Modern Family, I'll be satisfied.